Farewell to Gemini

Gemini

I remember asking, no begging, my parents for a dog growing up. I promised to do all the work as I think most kids do when they want something new. I remember my mother saying that she would never have another dog because when you lose them it hurts so much. I thought "how rude of her, I would never lose my dog!" Little did I know that she was saving me from something almost unbearable.
On May 27th, 1997 I was working on a job site with my Dad in GreatFalls Montana. There were 3 dogs next door, one running up and down the fence line all day. I would go and see this beautiful dog and finally asked the owner about her. She had been dropped in his yard and left with his two older ones. He didn't know who did it but thought he knew that she was a runt of a litter a friend had had about a year previous. He called her Stinker since her original name "Heidi" was the name of his girl shepherd. I had to have her! I was renting a place from my parents so asked if I could finally have a dog. They agreed. It was my Dads birthday and 3 days to my birthday and I was obsessed with everything gemini. So her name was easy...Gemini! From that day on she went every where I went. She loved car rides, running as fast as she could, and would do anything to please. Over the next 13 years of our life together this wonderful creature went through every chaos I brought on us and she did it with grace and style. Gemini hated confrontations with humans. If there was an argument in my many homes over the years she did everything possible to escape. This included jumping through screen doors and scaling 4ft fences. I used to joke that every town I lived in she had been to the pound. Every town except Phoenix and Lewistown. It is no surprise that when I stopped drinking she stopped running. This amazing friend of mine brought smiles to many people and the two or three people she didn't like, I didn't give the time of day since there had to be a reason. She liked everyone. Along our adventures she stood out in groups of dogs with her jet black coat and pointed ears. In Whitefish her buddy Sasha was a tiny boxer mix and the roommates I had usually had dogs of their own. She adjusted great but always let the new pups know she was the boss and the top snob. My friends and I used to do something we called "the white trash workout". We drove to a quiet road out of town and let the dogs out to run while we drove ahead. Pathetic yes but affective. She was insanely fast. She has been through relationships with me and on moves that made sense to no one but me. She was my best friend. She dealt with my temper and my meltdowns. On good days we went hiking, snowmobiling, camping, fishing, swimming, Frisbee, boating. On bad days she dealt with me gone for hours and hours sometimes a full day but when I finally came home she was there and happy to see me. I've had to beg for help when she needed the vet and I was broke and I've cried thinking I was going to lose her from a stick in her throat. I miss my friend. I miss her obnoxious nails on the hardwood, up and down up and down because she was uncomfortable. I miss her cocking her head at my voice, like she is really trying to understand I just didn't know her language. I'm sad that my daughter won't remember her and that my son will never meet her. I'm sad that Bean is now a single dog. God I miss my friend.
On Monday very very early I noticed that Dana was not in bed and the lights in the living room were on. It was precious sleep time since Autumn was asleep, what could he be doing. He had heard Gem pacing and got up to let her out. Unfortunately she had already gone to the bathroom right next to her bed and the length of our living room. He cleaned it and was sitting there wondering what to do. In Phoenix they had a dog door but she was having problems hopping through it. Here in MT she had problems with the stairs to the back yard. Most days she fell down them and limped back up. She wasn't even a shadow of the girl I had known and loved for years. We let her back in thinking that she would have to start sleeping in the garage at night. To me this would be a silent punishment to her without knowing what she had done to lose her spot in the house. On Monday we decided it was time to call the vet. A blessing of a small town the vet comes to your house for this sort of thing, and Dana and I knew him from school and were in the same grade as his sister. They told us over the phone they would be here Tuesday at 5.
Monday was an okay day. I sobbed here and there but tried to keep it together. I found a small pond out of town that Gemini could get in and out of without jumping and we planned a full day for her last day. That night, the usual giggles and stifles of noise so not to wake the babe were replaced with the sound of snotty noses. I asked Dana "Whats wrong with you?" I was trying to be funny. It didn't work. We sat in the dark and cried. Finally we had to get up. We were a site. Puffy eyes, red noses and Miss Gemini never looked at us once. She lost her hearing about a year ago and could really care less what the little humans were doing. We took the afternoon to just be with her. Dana picked her up for our last trip swimming and off we went. There were moments in the day I thought "It's too soon! She's not ready" but then she would trip and fall while walking in the water. We gave both the girls parts of our greasy lunch and took pictures and shared moments of hysteria. When we came home Dana gave Gemini her last bath and I spent time with her just being quiet and rubbing her sore body with towel and telling her thank you for her friendship and love. I also asked her forgiveness for the many times I was a bad pet owner. I just loved her like I hadn't done in a long time. When Greg showed he explained what he was going to do and we all sat around this wonderful beautiful dog. She sniffed him and took the attention and was so frail and old looking. He told us the way she is walking meant her central nervous system was shot and we were doing the right thing. It was the hardest thing to do knowing it was right but selfishly wanting to keep her forever. I had been thinking of this day for months. When is THE time. Won't someone please tell me. But no one did. They let me decide and for that I am grateful. My best friend knew I was there. She knew that I was going to be okay, that peace is in my life now and that Dana is going to take care of me for the rest of my life. I believe she knew it was time to pass the torch to him. I also believe she knows that I am going to be okay. That the rages I have had will be over soon and that I am on the mend. She knows that I have a wonderful man and an amazing daughter and that she can go knowing she walked through an incredible insane at times life with me but that the storms are past. Everyone that knew her loved her. She was just a great dog. Some say that I did a good job training her. I didn't do it. She was willing to stick by me and she became great on her own. Thank you Gemini, thank you for spending your life with me and thank you for letting me be in yours.
God this is hard. I will take peace in knowing she is pain free with her radar ears back and her sight perfect while she runs and swims and waits for me to see her again. I know she can never ever be replaced and I hope she knows the bar is set impossibly high. Love to my wonderful Gemini, I will miss you forever!