Octobers a wrap and Toddler and Tiaras...MT style

hello Dommie

now just listen, this is the best part.

proud Daddys

Yo Gabba Gabba!

Two pooped trunk or treaters

running with cousins

cousins in a huddle

whirlwind Logan just passing through

frisbee anyone?

First on the the list of must share is Lala had her x-rays read and the cancer appears to be gone! She will have to finish radiation as a clean up process but our minds can rest a bit easier on the last leg of her battle with the Big C. She has been amazing. Yay! Praise God!
Now I will share a learning experience. Or maybe it was a reminder. Or maybe it was just me being a bad example. Two Sundays ago the message in church was that we are examples to everyone that we come across. That no matter what we say our actions speak volumes. My actions two weeks ago were not anything I wanted to share especially in front of two -four year olds.
I go about my days sometimes thinking "will I ever get a me day. will I ever read a book again, or finish something with out interruption. will I ever eat a meal that is all mine. will I ever have a day that I don't change a poop, wipe a boog on my jeans, console a little one that is inconsolable?" Do I sound heartless yet? I had very selfish thinking days. I kept going through the motions though. My kids...let me fix that...OUR kids, are our life. Our days and nights are theirs and we knew in the begining this is how we would do it. That we would be absolutely consumed with our babies. I was getting very comfortable just sort of going with the flow. Autumn had done her dance class 3 times and loved it all except the bully. I shut my mouth during class and kept telling myself he will pick another target soon and sweet Autumn will be left alone. The mother of this boy was standing next to me three weeks ago and watched two girls being shoved and kicked by her boy "if he doesn't look out those girls are going to pounce on him". I put in my two cents "and he will deserve it." I should not have said it but I was sick of this little boy. I wanted to be like the other Moms and leave Autumn at dance for an hour, grab a coffee, talk to a friend, come back to a smiling girl and go about our day. The next week I tried just that. I watched Autumn take the assistants hand smiling ear to ear. She had talked about dance all morning. I did it, I left. I waved, I signed I love you and I walked a block in the crisp gorgeous Montana air, grabbed a coffee and sat with a friend for nearly an hour. When I got back and peeked my head in the assistant mouthed she is doing great! So I went back outside and sat on the steps to call my mother. On the phone with her the boys mother pulled up and I said "I better go back inside, the devils mother is here". Why did I say that. Kids are like pets. Reflections of parents. How can I be so angry with this little one. So, I go in and we stand on our respected sides of the entry. Her son sees her, I hear a thump! a crash and Autumn scream. Damn. Damn damn damn. I look over the counter. I'm hopeful it was just a little shove. We can handle that right? Autumn is trying to pick herself up, very tired so the cries are more dramatic, probably scared so the tears are flowing and the assistant is trying to help her up. I can't just stand there. I walk up to A and she pulls away from the woman who is also holding the little boys hand. I say to her "This is ridiculous! Three weeks we've dealt with this." I take Autumn in my arms and am telling her its okay, I'm so proud of her, she did great. She is saying she is sorry Mommy that boy pushed me again, he pushed me so hard Mommy. I'm not Mommy to Autumn unless she is really upset, I've been just Mom for awhile. My gut is exploding. My pits are burning. (they do that when I'm nervous scared, or super angry I think my shirt is about to catch on fire). The woman says "this was a bad one". I start packing up Autumn. The other mother is smirking in her corner, I look up at her "you need to reign him in." "Your daughter is an dirty word dirty word and deserved it". Enter rage here. I came unglued in a whispering rage so the little ones wouldn't hear the language I chose for this mother. I held Autumn tight and close and we walked out with this woman hot on my heels. Two other mothers showed up while this was going on. I've only seen one to apologize. The dance instructor is moving the boy but until she can she is giving Autumn a private lesson. In a split second all my beliefs and values shot out the door like a torpedo. I was ready to go to blows with this woman. I have told friends I haven't wanted to fight so bad in my life. The emotions that come out to protect were insane. It was like holding onto a wild animal while being shoulder deep in pounding waves. I was a mess and I was not pleasant...at all. Since then I have changed my poor me poor me ideas, oh I still slip into "omgPaBob at the dealership she started to come out of it. She has great examples around her.  Oofta. I just worked myself up all over again.
So, I have some work to do. But if I had to do it I think the only things i would change is asking her to step outside so we could talk, not raise my voice, and for certain not lower myself to her level by swearing.So basically I would have changed the whole scenario. Now I will go fill out my toddler and tiara application and see if we can go for that! HA!!!