I hope this video works! I missed most of what I tried to catch but think I caught the jest of it. My heart was a little broken yesterday at the park. Three bigger kids showed and Autumn was so excited! "MOM! MY KIDS!" She stood and watched them unload their gear with their parents and start running toward us. They were really running to the playground but to her it seemed she thought they had come just for her. She held her hand on her chest and breathed fast, asked if she could go say hi to the boy. From the distance I could tell they were a lot older but maybe only a few years. As they got close Autumn said almost nervous "Hi Boy". He stopped when she did and said "Hi Baby, look guys that baby said hi to me, I'm 7, I don't play with babies". I really don't think that Autumn understood his words but I think she got the message. She looked down at her shoes and just stood there for a minute. Then it was like she suddenly tried to be a big girl, or bigger girl. "Mom, I swing. Swing Mom." Of course I obliged. I would have given her anything at that moment to make the hurt go away. She usually smiles ear to ear on the first push of the swing and squeals "my stomach Mom!". This time I could see the smile just below the surface but she didn't let it go. Instead she looked over where the boy and his older sisters were playing and just looked bored. Like 'see how high I am, I am not a baby'. Normally I have to ask or beg for her to want to do something besides swing. Brother gets quiet bored sitting over in the shade by himself while we are at the swings, the slide is much closer to the shade. Organized play you know (wink wink). I was saying "Yay Autumn, look how high, woo hoo!" All the normals that get a screetch of joy from our first born. Nothing. Then "all done swinging Mom". Instead of running to the slide and other treacherous toys, she walked with her head down and would glance back at the boy. Sweet baby girl. It hurt my heart. I wanted to go whisper to this little boy 'would it kill you to play with her for 5 mins. you little...' but I didn't.:) How do they learn that? How did Autumn know to be sad that he didn't want to play with her and that she had to "act cool" or older or whatever it was she did? Most park days always end with a huge display of not wanting to go home, yesterday she mumbled all the way to the car she didn't want to go but she kept moving. Thankfully she doesn't ever throw herself down (how could I grab her up with brother in my arms) but she usually runs here and there "fast as I can Mom!" and it takes many attempts to get to the car. Yesterday a very tired a very sad 2 year old walked to the car, held my leg while I loaded up Dom, kept her eyes down while I buckled her in and then said "bye boy". Tear jerker.
Kids are amazing at bouncing back aren't they? Or they fake it better than adults. We got home, hot and tired, and the carpenters were working away. "Hi Boys!" "Well hi Autumn! How was the park? Did you swing?" Oh thank you Jesus for nice boys working on our house! Just like that Autumn seemed to forget the boy at the park and told Brent and Chuck all about her morning. I don't think they understood her (especially with her bink in) and I don't think they knew she was really talking to them, but they faked it. We went into our cool basement, popped in Tangled, tried to calm the very irritated Dom and for a few minutes I just held her while Dominic cried it out on the floor.
"I'm very proud of you Autumn, you are so awesome", "proud you Mom, Toy Story?"
5 comments:
Oh Summer while I was reading I was trying not to cry too much. I remember those moments when they happen to our kids and wish we can take that hurt away from them. Love you guys, Rach
Awww, I read this out loud to Whit and we both have misty eyes...The little boy is proud that he no longer is a baby and probably had no idea what he said brought back memories of 'not belonging' feelings to you (and to me). I hate to see how our little ones realize way too soon that they are not the center of "everyone's" world. Only ours and that is enough as far as this grandma is concerned. Family is the most important place to find that we are loved and accepted. We always come back to family. I love you and give Autumn a big hug and smooch from her LaLa. Love, MOM
Aw, my sweet little niece. I got choked up thinking of when those two kids were laughing at Ju for no reason, and the look of insecurity that came across her face. It's crushing! I told mom, "She needs to come hang with her cousins ASAP!" We just adore her and mom is right, family is where it's at, and where it always will be. Love you, and please give her a big giant hug and kiss from her Auntie, Uncle, and cousins <3
I will not be mature about this. Poop on bratty kids who aren't taught to be kind to everyone. Unrealitic. . . hmmm yes but as a mom of the most loving little boy who does that breathy excited voice ("My guys Mom, it's my guys!") whenever he sees other kids and is thoroughly rejected 90% of the time. I don't understand why they aren't taught to just say Hi and maybe pause for a moment to make someone elses day. I always make sure Knox says hi and plays at least for a bit with kids who want to play with him. Squish your miss for me and I wish our 2s could play together. -anjee
That kind of stuff is so tough! We've had a couple run-ins with it too, and it breaks a mommy's heart.
Just for the record, the only place Reegan wants to go lately is to Autumn's house. She keeps asking!
Post a Comment