Just a thought

I have sat around with my mother many times talking about our lives before kids. How did I ever ever think I was tired. I mean the really true meaning of tired. Some people are much more motivated then I am and do the gym in the morning before work, commute while rearranging conference meetings, have work lunches,brunches,and balls,go to wine tastings, hit new clubs or climb Mount Everest on the weekends. I was never like that. I would think I was busy. Especially when I was in school, working and reuniting with Dana.I was always busy when I was bartender. I was working very hard on my one on one relationship with the Whitefish PD and EMTs and also making sure that every other bartender knew who I was and most likely sighed with regret when I walked in...
Anyway, this is about our NEW LIFE, not my old life.
My point is, once I became a mother (still very very weird to write!) my outlook on mothers every where changed. I wonder how many times I kept my own mother up and how she kept going. How do we go into over drive and keep a smile on our face for the little ones. Believe me I don't hide my feelings from the hubbie but I try very hard to show no weakness to Autumn! I'm not worried about our move, I know its the right thing or it wouldn't be falling into place so easily. I worry about what I am going to do for drive to Montana while Autumn and Dana fly there. I'm so excited for the road trip with my Dad Bruce. Will I actually sleep all night? Will I hear phantom Autumn coos and cries? Will I get a speeding ticket because I just can't wait to see her? Will the perma bags that have taken residence on my face go away?
I have a deep respect for all moms of course but today I am feeling thoughtful towards the single mothers that keep it together. I am blessed to have every day with Autumn. For the short period that I worked in the evenings I kept thinking "can he handle it, can Daddy D make it with out me? After all I've never done this before but I know lots of Moms so I must know more than him". Right? Ha!
I've heard many people say if they only came with a handbook. Well how great would that be but how many of us really read the handbooks to every new gadget we get? I am convinced the handbook to a child would not only look like stereo instructions it would be upside down, backwards and in pig latin.
Today, Autumn woke up with a wonderful smile and better still no fever. Dana and I woke up with stiff necks and backs just happy the kicking ceased. Just when I think "am I ever going to sleep again" Autumn says "HI!" and suddenly I don't need to sleep and I don't feel tired. I feel like for one more day I can do this. And that's really what it's all about, Today.
Thank you Autumn for keeping me on my toes and teaching me something new every day!