Head to head with croup

Jan.4, 2013

I'm going to say that there is a glitch in Blogger (not me) and it isn't downloading pictures at this moment. So, I bought Paul Simon Graceland  and will type away hoping the glitch will be fixed before I log out.

Today is my Dad, Papa Bruces' birthday. He is 59;) He and Lala and Papa came to town last weekend to join us watching Autumn and Dana in 'The Nutcracker All Spiced Up'. Dana was a great sport as he always is and all the little ones did great. It was an amazing show! Our friends, Dale and Sherry were kind enough to come over for the evening and watch Dominic so that all the Papas could enjoy the entire thing without having to walk a restless boy up and down the high school lobby, like last year. It truly was an amazing weekend with my family here. I don't know what happened this time around but it was perfect. On Sunday, I made the family breakfast. Nothing fancy, tortillas, eggs and bacon.There was something calming about the smells and the sounds of familiar voices. I looked around a few times and just had a great feeling that my parents were at our house and I was cooking for them for once.It felt nice to be giving back just a minuscule amount of comfort they have given me my entire life. After bellies were full and there was nothing for Lala to clean, Dana took Dom to the back for a nap and Lala sat with Autumn and learned the addiction to Angry Birds. By the time she left she was downloading it to their kindle. Well done Autumn, well done! While they spent time in the living room I sat at our table with both of my Dads. It was like so many times when I was young...younger;) I sat in the middle of two men that mean so much to me and I was so proud to be involved in the visit. When I was little I know they humored me and my silly questions. This time it was like we were buddies. Like we had survived something together and we had finally come together not to talk about the survival but to sigh a breath of relief and to embrace the odd family dynamics that we are. We laughed until our breath was gone and dug in for another inhale for the next one. We teared up talking about Autumn. I think my Dads teared up for the simple fact that I am a mother and in reality I don't think any of us thought my life as it is, was ever possible. We just sat and enjoyed each other and there was no uncomfortable silence and nothing was forced. It was just perfect. I was sad to see them go but even in that we found humor. Dana came out of the bedroom, "I think Autumn has the flu". Or did he say Dominic? I can't remember. Anyway, the parents jumped like a tac had stuck them in the back and within 20 or 30 mins they were gone. We were all laughing as they gathered their things and Dad Mark carried it out to the car. "Say flu and we are gone!" Lala wasn't kidding!
So, our Sunday went very relaxed. Autumn woke from her nap with the infamous croup bark and we knew we were in for a ride. We kept hopeful that Dom wouldn't get it, but seriously, how often does another child avoid sickness when they sleep next to it? On Monday, Dom woke from his nap with the bark. By this time Dana had run to ShopKo for a 4 man tent since our monster 12 man won't fit in the living room. We had a humidifier going, oils aromaing, oils on the feet, chest, back, temples, and in water. We were oiled! Unfortunately it didn't stop the sickness. I do think it has shortened the ride. Thankfully, Dana had the all clear to stay home and get the family better so I wasn't going at it alone. We napped when we could and walked around like zombies. Yesterday morning around 4, Dom barked awake after hardly any sleep. We sat, exhausted, Dana on his phone online and me on the lap top. We googled croup until all our memory only had croup in the bars. My statement "HE IS GOING TO THE DOCTOR TODAY, THIS IS RIDICULOUS", was nulified by all the articles that there isn't much they do but occasionally give a steroid. We aren't into steroids so that wasn't an option. At 5a.m we bundled up the boy and I loaded the two of us up and said "we are going for a drive". I had no idea which direction to go, how far to go, how long to go and how far to roll down the windows (another tidbit from webmd and all the online info we could find). So, I aimed north. At least I think I was going North. I rolled down my window so that he wouldn't get the brunt of the breeze and I turned on the heat. I froze the left side of my body but my feet were nice and warm. I decided once I got to Hilger, MT that I have never been to Winifred so let's start there. It was only 23 more miles which made it about 38 miles from Lewistown. It is pitch black out there city friends. I do believe Dana and I have terrible night vision from being spoiled by lit highways and never ever being in the dark living in AZ. That or I am just a bad night driver. Either way, it was dark. Dom fell asleep 10 mins into our trip but I was determined to give him a couple hours. The radio went out, I realized I didn't have my phone, and I hadn't told Dana which way I was going. Amazing the tricks your mind will play on you when you go to the dark side. It was no concern as I had an "escape" plan. I made sure to be aware of each farm house in case we went off the road and I had to walk for help. THEN, I started to think of all the dumb horror movies I have watched where the farm house is really not always your safest bet. Jeez. Get some sleep Summer. We drove on, we didn't go off the road, except for me to jungle squat before a school bus came up on us, and we made it home safe and sound. By the time I walked in the door I realized that it really had not been that long and that if we were lucky we only had a couple more days of sick kiddos. Long enough that we had to cancel Doms birthday party but short enough that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.:)
Dominic turned 2 yesterday. He celebrated with a Thomas the train balloon (sister got a butterfly balloon) and each a new lizard toy. I even bought them a bag of gluten free chocolate chip cookies. What does that even mean. Gluten free. Obviously the kids aren't gluten sensitive (whatever that is too) but it sounds better than "double chocolate, extra sugar, throw me on your hips" cookies. He had a few cards and treasures that came in the mail and Grammie came over in the evening to give them both a gift. It was a good day anyway and I am thankful that he won't remember that two years in a row he has been under the weather on his birthday.
I have always heard that the construction of a new home is stressful on a marriage. That the little things are such a big deal, like how many outlets do you want in this room or that, and what size trim do you want. I'm going to go ahead and say I am sure that is the pits. Knowing you are getting a brand new home designed just for you and in time you will be the very first people to sleep in a brand spanking new home (we loved our newbie in AZ, just wish in was in MT it was made and move in ready, we didn't decide anything...except later when I chose poor colors for the walls). I'm going to say I am sure that is such a really hard thing for marriage. I'm also going to say I think TWO things are hard on a marriage. Construction on a house you currently live in with babies, and sick kids. There is no out unless one of you leave. Two babies, two parents. Someone is wiping something, ooohhh and ahhhing someone, oil down a foot, running a bath, gooogling a hail mary, telling the other one how tired you are, making three different breakfasts just in case they might like one and omg they haven't eaten in two days. I could go on but I know you have all been there so this is me saying poor us to us;) I also have no idea how parents of more than two do it and I know I could handle it if Dana had to go to work but I am so so so thankful that he didn't. Yesterday we took turns napping and that I do believe helped us 100%. We also took the kids outside for the first time since Saturday. I think that gave them some hope that we haven't taken them prisoner.
Tonight, I was making a new cuncoction for dinner. Spaghetti squash layered with turkey burger, red sauce, and cheese. Nothing fancy. Something I hoped the kids would eat and something fast. As I was throwing this thing together Dana just stood and watched me. "Are you just making this up as you go", "yes, I hope it turns out". "Do you enjoy being a homemaker?" Hmmm. What is this question? Is it because I look ridiculous doing what I am doing? Did I forget to do something like brush my teeth today, is he making fun of me? Is this just fun banter before he says I have toilet paper hanging out of my pants? "Yes, I do". What I am really thinking and what I thought silently as I did dishes, "It's an honor to make YOU a home Dana. I hope I am at least improving as the years go by". I should have stopped and told him this but instead we laughed together and joined the kiddos in the dining room. Autumn refused my creation and Dom liked it enough he climbed into Danas' chair when he got up for something and polished off his. We haven't sat together in a few days and it was nice to just sit and enjoy a meal. I have also learned the kids don't graze on my food when I am only eating salad with veggies. (Just a three day thing, don't think me healthy or anything!)
doTerra is treating us great and my little side business was quite busy the first month of building. I was invited to a training convention in Salt Lake (you have to make a certain level to get the invite) and Dana is going to join me in March. We have talked with Grammie and Papa and they are going to help me out with a couple test sleep overs to see if I can really do it. Even as I race away to GreatFalls somedays with the music blaring and my best singing voice at full volume glad to be free free free, with in a few hours I am ready to go home and see my family. Our sweet little babes. They are something I tell you.  So, in the next couple months Dana and I will get a couple mini vacations. It will be CRAZY!
Dominic's hair is quite cute by the way. Dana ended up buying new clippers and he fixed it up perfect. Our little man looks so grown up. Miss Autumn has decided she needs another birthday since she "needs" more presents. She forgot about it when brother asked her to help him open a gift from Auntie Raquel. Wait till you see the pumas!!!
Happy New Years friends and family! I hope this finds you awesome!
Cheers
(no pictures tonight, sorry)

this is one of my favorites, Autumn was quite disgusted there was a poop in the bag:)
 

Dominic almost 1 Autumn 2.5 last year:)
 

Miss Autumn signing "I love you" we wave this to each other when we drive away or a guest leaves.

Handsome Dom is going to be 2 on the 3rd!
 

Dom telling on sister? Santa got an ear full from both!



The Holidays are here!!! Our tree has lost most of its' lower ornaments due to a strong tail on Molly and two sets of busy hands. Most of the ornaments on our tree are from Dana's family. He receives one every year from his Aunt Jeanie and Grammie Jo helped to decorate our first tree in our Phoenix house. We have one for sweet Gemini, our shephard that we put down our first year here and we are on the prowl for a black lab with wings for our sweet Bean. We also have a snowflake from Lala and Papa that brightened up our day when we received it while we braved our desert Christmas that seems like a life time ago.
 

Autumn in her first church program, she had just noticed Dom in the front row and waved and said "Hi Dominic!"
 

Little Bit the cutes
 

The second night of the church Christmas Program
 

He could be this happy because he is naked or because he didn't have to go to the Christmas Program and sit still for an hour;)


We have presents for the kids stashed in our basement waiting to be wrapped. Lack of late night motivation and questionable afternoon naps have made the wrapping process a chore. We are very excited for the kids to open their gifts this year. We had to get creative and choose gifts that they could both play with rather than buy two of everything to minimize arguments. Dom is hip to Autumn climbing on the "big chairs" to play her Polly Pockets and Kindle. He now climbs up all on his own. His shins show us that it is still a lot of work for him! He is growing so fast and talking so much that we try to just keep up with his questions and watch our mouths so that he doesn't pick up anything...inappropriate for a nearly two year old.
Dominic's favorite shape to say is "octagon" and his color for everything lately is "yellow". He follows sister like a puppy and when he acts like a puppy she calls him "Buster". Last week, Dana was putting a very tired Dominic to bed. Dom was not ready for bed. "No go to bed, DANA!" In a little bit of shock Dana asked him what he just said and Dom repeated it with more emphasis on the "DANA". He could hardly hold back his laughter as he tried to tell me. Our little man has quite the personality and he isn't afraid to raise his voice to be heard! On Jan.3 he will be our light eyed two year old ready to take on the world! He is finally to a point that he doesn't mind clothes as much as he did a month ago. We used to bribe him with visits to Papa Bob. The problem with that is the second he was dressed he wanted to go out the door. He became the very last to be dressed as we walked out the door. He has started to sing his ABC's while playing alone and sometimes he will bring a random number from a puzzle and ask "What number this Mom?" Another favorite question, "How you going guys?" We don't correct him, we just answer "we are going great, thanks!"
Today, during Daddy D's lunch we popped in 'The Lorax' and tried to cut his hair. I say "try" because the clippers crapped out 3/4 of the way and he was left with chunks of sweet baby locks. Since I know how to cut hair because my mother's schooling somehow transformed to my hands through osmosis, I grabbed her scissors and a comb and went to town on a moving, crying little bundle, covered in finger paint from this mornings arts and craft session. It turns out, like I have shared from past bad haircuts I have given this little man, that I can not cut hair like my mother. Whether he is sleeping and still for hours on end or squirming and crying while watching a show, I leave jagged cut lines and long strands blowing in the breeze. I won't take full blame for this bad trim as Dana was the one that was going to hold his head still while I used the clippers. Note to other Moms thinking of using beard clippers, don't. They take forever and they are gutless.
He survived and had an extra juice for his troubles, an afternoon bath and his lunch was served while he soaked. We even carried in the laptop so he could keep watching the "Lorax". Did I ever mention that our lives are not directed by these little people;)

Autumn is the forever faithful sister. Today she sat next to him while we butchered his hair and kept saying "you are doing great Dominic, good job brother". I think she also knows that when he gets a 'treasure' for his troubles, she will get one too.
Last Sunday and Monday evening, Autumn joined her little friends from Sunday school and they sang in Celebration Church Christmas Program. The little ones were only up there for a few minutes but it was so touching and so neat to see her among some incredible singers from different churches in town. The kids used sign language (or as much as they could remember) and it was absolutely precious. Our next event is the 29 when Autumn (and Dana) will be in the Nutcracker Production by the Dance Syndicate, a local dance studio for all ages. Did that just sound like a commercial, because it felt like one. Autumn has a really neat dance instructor, Miss Janet. In Autumns class she instructs about 12 toddlers. I have a hard time with two.
This year, Dana has been asked to be Mother Ginger again and he and Autumn will be alone on stage for just a few minutes and then another little girl will join them. I will try to post a video clip on here...I will try.
Autumn has amazing computer skills. We both thought that we would try to keep her away from gadgets and games but it really is inevitable. She plays abcmouse.com on our laptop, and her Papa Bruce got her a Kindle Fire a month or so ago. She had to show us how to turn it on.  Usually she plays learning games but a favorite is Angry Birds. Just watching her play it Dana and I became interested and downloaded the dang thing to our phones. Now it's a family addiction;) Dom is right behind sister in the computer world as he has taken a liking to her Leap Frog that she got from Lala and Papa last year. I can't imagine what they will be doing when they are in high school. What crazy new toys will be in their hands?

So, we are still plugging away at Insanity. Dana has two weeks left and I have 6 days. We have had a few setbacks this month but we will get it done. Dana has now lost almost 35 pounds and I have capped out at 15. We sometimes get lazy with our eating but for the most part we stick to a "cleaner" diet. Little to no processed food, hardly any sugar (unless a totally needed), no soda, and easy on the breads and pastas. Our "clean" Thanksgiving was a disaster, so we are both looking forward to good ol Turkey and stuffing on Christmas. The only recipes I didn't totally bomb on Turkey day, the gravy and the cranberries. This pie, green bean cass, and the turkey were a NO GO. At least we tried eh?:)

December has been a whirlwind. I am actually quite ready for it to be over. I love Christmas and I love the meaning of Christmas. We have just had a very busy, very emotional month and I'm ready to "turn the page" as Dana says to the kiddos and they in return say it to him. They also tell him to "calm down" and "give me a sec.". Yes we have little copy cats and sometimes it is quite shocking what we say to come back at us from their mouths:)
I think I am almost ready for a weekend with just Dana. We are thinking of gifting ourselves with a little trip after we finish Insanity. I'm still making sure wherever we go is "kid friendly", just in case I get cold feet:)

Merry Christmas my friends and family. Have a safe and wonderful Holiday! Hopefully the New Year brings you all everything you command;)
(I'm reading a new book, Command your morning, I love it!)

Cheers!!!

 

See you later Bean, we love you always.

Getting pretty two summers ago.

Bean always watched over the babies.

always close to us, even when we didn't notice her.

First Halloween back in Montana.

The great squirrel hunter!
 

Beans Auntie Lupe, waiting for her in Heaven

Our sweet Gemini also waiting for her.

The sweet Bean.

Nearly 10 years ago, in Whitefish MT., puppies were  the talk of the groups I hung out with. I chose a Newfie mutt and named her Oza. She stayed in Minneapolis when I left over 5 years ago. A friend of mine chose a tiny, black female. No one really knew what they were mixed with but they looked like mini black labs. This pups first name was Knuckle Bean. She was terrified of skateboards, loved Denny's food (a bartenders saving grace at 2a.m) and I saw her all the time at BBQ's and at Whitefish Beach. My friends and I took our dogs every where. They were included in trips to Tally Lake, camping trips around Whitefish, hiking to fresh tracks, and ran behind us while we raced around on snowmobiles. Everyone knew every ones dog by name and it was not uncommon to go to a house party where there were more dogs than people. When Beans owner was hurt, she moved around from house to house as people tried to accommodate her. My house was the last in the rotation. I think it has been about 8 years since I told James (the man watching her before me) that I could take her for 3 days, max. So, here I was. Around 25 or 26, a bartender, a constant party seeker, a snowboarder, a hiker, and I had three dogs and rented a house that should have been condemned long before I got to it and for sure AFTER I lived in it. I had no business adding to my little family. I had Gemini, a wonderful Shepherd that knew all the ins and outs of my life, a dog that could maintain any situation I put her in, and I had a Newfoundland mix puppy, Oza. I made great money but I also spent money not so great. Another dog was the very last thing I should have been contemplating.
As it turned out, Bean became mine. I dropped the Knuckle, I didn't like the sound of it and she was sweet and kind and small, like a Bean. I don't think I ever claimed Bean. I don't think I even claimed her yesterday when the Vet came to end her suffering. I always introduced her as "this is Bean, I was watching her for 3 days and that was years ago." I always felt like I had to make an excuse that I did not pick this dog out, she is not my type, I am doing someone a favor. Last night as I cried for her I was sorry for my feeling toward her. Bean was the sweetest spirit I have ever met. She had kind eyes, worried eyes. Eyes that begged to be loved and begged for just one more ear scratch. She loved to chase balls, squirrels, and anything that moved too fast away from her. She hated birds, and barge noises. She loved to beg, she loved cucumber peelings. She loved to lay on pillows and chew her toenails (GROSS!). She loved to have her belly rubbed. She loved kisses on the end of her nose. She loved ice cubes. She loved to sit behind the driver so that she could squeeze her tiny head between the seat belt and the door frame. She didn't know how to swim when I got her but one summer in Ely Minnesota she had a pack of Golden's, Gemini and Lucy show her the ropes. She was always the smallest, unless we went to Lala and Papas and then Lupe and Bella were her "underlings". I am sure they still bossed her around as Bean did not have a mean bone in her body.
Before I left for the Philippines and my girls stayed with Mom and Dad, Bean grew a "cherry" in her eye. Most common cause is stress. She was a worry wart. She never healed from that but it became like a birth mark. A reminder to me always that I stressed her out. It took a while for Dana and I to be in a place (emotionally and physically) that the girls could join us in Phoenix. When they came down our little family seemed complete. Two people, two dogs, new house, newly married, we didn't need anything else. When we got pregnant with Autumn, we decided that we had to make changes. No more dogs on the bed, especially the pillows. I think Bean took that the hardest. Even last week I found her on the couch in the middle of the night, sound asleep and unaware I was next to her, she lost her hearing about a year ago. She rolled with the punches though. She has been Autumns shadow since we brought her home from the hospital. Her favorite place to sleep was under Autumns bed, IF Autumn was in there. Lately, we would find her in Autumns old room that is now a playroom, shedding her jet black hair and leaving her scent. When we moved to Lewistown, she took the trip with one of my Dads, Papa Bruce. They have always been buddies and she even lived with him for a time while I was clueless in northern Minnesota. This girl has been around. Just like her sister Gemini.
I told Dana last night that it is so sad how our girls became shadows after we started having kids. Rides in the car ended, walks were few and far between and unless the kids noticed them I do think that sometimes I didn't notice if they were even in the house. I feel very sad for the way my girls, my war buddies, were pushed aside.
A dear friend to me came over yesterday before we had decided to let Bean go. I confessed my guilty feelings and cried to her. She listened and later gave me the best advice I got yesterday "you go out there and you tell Bean what you have to say to her, she will hear you". Oh my God. Help me. I climbed under the stairs with Bean after Dominic went down for his nap and Autumn was with her Grammie. I wrapped my arms around her and I sobbed. I apologized for treating her second best. I rubbed her belly and told her I wish I had done this more. I scratched her ears, riddled with stink because she has had an infection since living in AZ and I told her I do not regret one day that she has been mine. I told her she is the sweetest, kindest spirit I have met, animal or human. I thanked her for her years to us and I thanked her for her patience and tolerance with the kids. I told her I would miss her and I told her to have fun running and swimming and playing with Gemini. I told her I was sorry. I held this 50 lb girl that has given me her everything and never once gave up on trying to be the best dog. I told her I loved her so much and that I was so proud of her and that I would miss her. I cried thinking that the two girls that watched me finally grow up were now gone.
Thank you Bean for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for being the best dog anyone could have and thank you for sticking with me through super thick and extra thin. Thank you for helping me become a "grown up". I will miss you forever. I will love you forever and I will think of you always. Thank you for being such a wonderful girl.

Rest in Peace, we miss you Bean Goodan. (apx. Mar.02- Nov.19, 2013

So long fall!

The Hubs:)
 

Merry-go-round is alright with Dom!
 

It was so cold this evening but the kiddos stand strong and didn't want to leave, Dom refused his coat and hat, again.
 

"doon git me!"
 

Autumn picked her owl costume out months ago! It was our suprise to her when we pulled it out the day before Halloween.
 

My two favorite teams, the Owls, and the Puppies. It's an intense rivalry!
 

why am I going door to door when all this goodness is just sitting here?
 

Kiddos buddies, Teagan and Blaine joined us for trick or treat night!
 

A visit from Papa Bruce before the snow fell!

The first big snow storm has hit and it is beautiful. I am reminded every time we get our first real snow how much I love Montana. I stood in the snow this morning, shovel in hand, head phones in and Waka waka blaring, and I could not stop smiling. I know for most that snow means more work, long hours in the cold, or dangerous commutes. I feel for them and I think of them on days like today that show no sign of letting up. In my heart though I thank God that I am home. Minnesota had snow and cold and wonderful people and it very easily could have been my home. But, Montana kept on calling, with a few detours on the way I have landed!
On Wednesday night I put in my headphones after making a "big storm" grocery list. I like to shop with music for a couple of reasons: 1. I love music  2. I don't like to feel like I have to make small talk just because I met someones eye. I usually don't feel like visiting while I grope fruit and veggies and I sure as hell don't want to blush (which I always do) if I am "caught" buying something girlie or a treat with SUGAR in it :). I will take them out and have little visits if I see someone I know and they see me. For the most part I let them have their time and I take mine. ANYWAY. I came home with my haul, no snow on the ground and it was still very comfortable out. I doubted the weather man. On Thursday the morning still seemed like maybe the forecast was off. Then our cell phones went off with a severe weather warning ( I did not hear mine as I was napping with the babes but Dana let me know it was loud and scared him) and still no snow. Then it started. It was every which way and fast. (I have a point, I promise). Thursday night Autumn would not eat anything offered, even the safe go to of toast. I said "Autumn, what would you like?" Strawberries Mom, I want some strawberries." Ok, I can do that. In fact I bought some fresh ones so that we wouldn't have to thaw any in a moment just like this. I pulled them out and they had mold growing all over them. It wasn't there the night before! I was irritated. I knew I didn't have to take them back the moment I found them  (I have a great friend that works at our local grocery and it's small town enough you rarely need a receipt). I was ticked because this was the 3rd produce item that was bad in a month and by God they needed to know about it tonight. I was out the door in the middle of the storm with my jams on, no bra and no make-up. I get there and I am ready to tell whomever will help me that I am sick of bad produce. I wait for the next teller and it is a young girl that has been working on losing weight this last year and she is doing amazing! She looks great, she smiles and makes eye contact and she never seemed to do that before. I simply returned my science project, took my few dollars and said "Thank you, you look great by the way", and I walked out. Okay so now I feel better and maybe that was the reason I had to take the strawberries back. As I'm driving home, I am hunched over the wheel to get as close to the heat as possible. I'm driving slow since I haven't been on snow for a while and I'm zoning out. I see a figure in a black, light jacket, black work shoes, no hat, no gloves and a grocery bag leaning into herself to fight the wind. She is walking with purpose and she looks freezing. "HI!!! Do you want a ride?" I'm hopeful she gets in and then answers because I'm freaking cold with the window down. She stops and looks at me, looks up and down the road, walks to the car and stands looking at me again. "Hi." Didn't she hear me?! "Hi, do you want a ride?" "I guess you look like a safe person to get a ride from". She gets in and says thanks and tells me where she lives. In the middle of the summer it would have been a nice walk in the evening. This night it would have been hell! I ask her why she is walking! "My mother has kidney disease, we only have one car, I just graduated from high school and I have only had this job a month. It is easier to just walk then to wake my mom up and ask for a ride". Lump in my throat. She is friendly and I feel for her for the short ride (everywhere in Lewistown is a short ride), she thanks me as she gets out and tells me how much she appreciated the ride. I want to run out to her, hug her, tell her "No, thank you". I also didn't want to freak her out so I stayed put and said "see you around". I walked into the door and told Dana "I know the reason I had to go out tonight. I had to meet that girl." It's nice when I get a nudge of reality and gratitude takes my breath away. So, if you remember, keep this girl and her mother in your prayers. Her name is Mo.
Now, let's talk kiddos!!!! Holy cow! Leaps and bounds these two are changing. They amaze us at the speed of light. Tonight as I made supper Dom strolled into the kitchen (he really strolls) "Hey Mom, how you going?" "I'm doing great, Dominic, how are you doing?" "What you doing Mom?" "I'm making supper Dom, what are you doing?" "Oh, making suPPer." P's are very important to Dominic. He is a very kind boy as well. "Hey Dad, I like your button (belly button). I like your toe. I like your shirt. I like your jacket. I like your hair. I like your mouth. I like your phone. I like your hands. I like your pants". He goes on and on. He still screams once in awhile. He is after all nearly two. Can you believe it?! He also tells us when he poops or pees. Dana walked in from work the other day and Dom was standing strong in the middle of the living room, "hi Dad, I pooping". I say in my head, "thank you God he saved it for Dana". :) We have a very hard time dressing this little man but with consistency, lavender, prayer, and ear plugs, he should be just fine in a few weeks.
Autumn, the ever shocker, told my chiropractor that "when my brover screams and I scream, my mom yells real loud 'that is enough!', and then I cry". Thanks Autumn, I think she thought I was pretty mellow until that statement.;) Today, as I changed Autumn she asked "did I poop or pee Mom?" I want to ask if she really needs to ask me that but I don't. "You peed Autumn". "Oh, you have got to be kidding me". She says this while she shakes her head with her hand over her eyes. Last week the three of us sat down for lunch and tension was a bit high. Dom wasn't happy about his meal and Autumn was beyond tired. I didn't know how to lighten up the mood so I made a monkey face. Ears out, eyes crossed and cheeks ballooned. Dominic about fell out of his highchair he laughed so hard and Autumn couldn't believe her eyes. She laughed and held her belly and then she tapped a fist on the table like the ol' "knee slapper". I cracked up. Where did she get this stuff?! She did it again and again and when I asked her about it she said Dana taught her that. "Why do you do that Autumn?" Oh Mom, I do it when something is really funny." Duh.
The moments my heart skips a beat are glimmers in my mind. I have them in there and I want them on paper but there are so many that I know I am losing them. I laid  down with Autumn today, like I do most days and she held a hot sweaty hand on my cheek "I love you Mom, you are my favorite Mom". "I love you too Autumn, you are my favorite daughter". I wonder if she sees the tears in my eyes or hears me lose my breath? Dominic is starting to enjoy cuddling again, usually it is after sister has yelled in his face or he has stubbed a naked foot but it's a chance to cuddle so we take it! He holds our chins when he lays on us and sometimes he sits up puts both hands on our face and just stares. He is also a leg hugger. He sneaks up behind us and says "Mommy!" or "Daddy" and squeezes.
Even though we don't like their fights the make up is always very cute. Dominic will say "I saw eee seester", and then they hug. It is not always that smooth. Most times we have to wait for them to both cool down before an apology is uttered. Now I can hear them crying as they get ready for bed. It is about 9:20 now, I should have more free time around 10.
By the by, Dana has lost 30lbs since we have started an Eat Clean challenge! We also started Insanity 4 weeks and 5 days ago. Don't you worry, we will be so pumped at the end of it we (I) will most likely post before and afters (wink wink) I know you can't wait! If you are wondering what eat clean is, eatcleandiet.com or Tosca Reno are two good places to check out. :) We also have a great friend that is a Beach Body coach and she helps keep us in check:)

Inside!:)

wet and slimey outside so bring in the cars!



all furniture was moved so they could maneuver better
 

thinking about his next project (snowmen pieces behind him)

Autumn and I made 4 snowmen out of paper plates and she named them Mommy snowman, Daddy snowman etc.

some of the oils we use, most on a daily basis (clear ones are mixtures for particulars)
 

Our bathroom stash:)

Autumns room most mornings
 

some of her books

a 3 yr olds closet
 

Doms room and his tote of cars!
 

a nearly 2 year olds closet
 

Our room most mornings
 

my side of the closet (no sexy clothes here)

our night stand with a very important book and a layer of dust to write your name in

Happy Fall!

Ah the sweet life! I decided to add some pictures of the interior of our house since I have been accused of being "organized and spotless". Not that these are bad things! I love when someones says "oh Summer, your  house is always so clean". At that moment I am praying that a closet door does not burst from the pressure of all the crap I have shoved into it;). I also including a picture of the oils that we use to show what is helping us and that they aren't little viles of witch doctor brew.
Dominic has turned another page. As always, when I break down and share something, the whole situation changes and I think to myself if I had held out just a little longer I wouldn't have needed to share that. Well, I'm glad that I do share with you all things good and not so good. The Babes were running the show for a bit and Dana and I needed a swift reminder that we are the parents and that we needed to step up or we would be in deep chaos.:)
I love love love sleeping with our kids. I have shared all that before. My body, ribs in particular, are not finding it enjoyable anymore. So, the mind started to think and Dana and I thought we would try the two of them in the same bedroom for a bit. See if that helps them to stay in their room for the night. Last night was our first go of it. I see this morning that Dominic is in his big boy bed and Autumn is tuck snugly next to Dana in our bed. It at first...eh? I started the project yesterday even though Dana and I agreed to move beds and toys together on Sunday. I get something in my head and I just have to do it. The kiddos were great helpers and very excited for all the commotion. I think they especially liked how many toys I had to bring out to the living room so I had room to maneuver a crib and a day bed. We had blocks, Lego's, books, cars (tons), potato heads, my little ponies, and doll houses all in one wonderful pile in the center of the house. It made for an amazing distraction while I pulled apart a crib. Dominic would come to the back and say "What you doing Mom?" "I'm not sure Dom." "OK. BYE!" Autumn would come to the back, "Mom, can I help? I'm a good helper. What is this for? Why are you pulling that off? Why is my bed in Dominic's room? Where are my ponies? Do you need help Mom? Just say 'Autumn I need you' and I will come help okay Mom? I will be in the living room, okay Mom". Yes,Autumn. All the toys in one room look incredible. Incredible like "oh my gawd how did you get so many toys?!" I think we will try to go through them and get rid of what they don't play with (hardly anything) and store the ones less played with and pull them out in intervals. I kept both single beds on the floor so if they take a roll the fall won't be far. This is a good idea in theory. I didn't take into account how I was going to force nap times;) It took about half an hour to get Dom to stay in his bed. I had to cover my laughing when I would hear him plodding down the hall "hi Mom!" He handle the take back good and finally crashed with his sister laying in her bed wide eyed and determined not to fall asleep. I kept telling Autumn "just rest your eyes a minute and I will come back to check on you". I came back and she wasn't in bed, she wasn't in the toy room or our bedroom. Autumn was standing in the closest with a soft giggle "I'm hiding Mom, and I pooped, will you change me? I'm not tired, can I play Polly pockets?" Yes and yes. On our way to dinner 5 hours later she fell asleep in the 3 min. car drive. Oh little sweets, you make me laugh.
So, with a bit more organizing to do ( I had to stop in the afternoon when the kids decided they needed to be in the same room with me) the rooms are changed and I think it is going to work out.
Papa Bruce is in town and Dominic is showing some insanely funny attitude! He handed Papa a toy and as soon as Papa could almost touch it Dominic pulled it away from him and walked away smirking. Have you ever seen a 21month old smirk? It is HILARIOUS!!! Dad and I got a belly laugh and the kids joined in unaware that Dom was the joke. I've had lots and lots of kisses from Dominic lately. He holds my face and stares at me. I feel like he is telling me "Well done sucker, you made it through that last one now let's get to the fun stuff!" He really is quite a lover. When an injury happens, a step on a car, a bonk on the melon, a collision with sister, Dom needs a kiss. Not wants a kiss, NEEDS it. Whatever body part was bumped, bruised, pushed or kicked he holds up high saying "Owie!" and waits for love. Miraculously the kiss heals all and he is off to the races!
Autumn has questions about everything. She also wants to be a part of everything! Supper, folding clothes, feeding dogs, loading groceries, changing brother, she is always ready to help out. Her fold jobs are too cute and wrinkled clothes have a new meaning. I don't have the heart to tell her a ball of shirts does not fit in the drawer well. No worries, now is the season for jackets so i can wear my wrinkles proudly!
The newest favorite song in the Goodan children's home is PSY by Gangnam Style(?). The babes watch it on YouTube a couple times a day. They don't watch the actual music video they like a spoof with a man dressed in a red suit (they call him spiderman) gyrating all over what looks to be a college campus. Autumn will do her "Horton" dance, which is on all fours, butt in the air and shaking her bootie. It's cute right now. Daddy is a little nervous about that move;) Dominic does more of a run, freeze, bounce up and down only moving the legs then one arm in the air, move. He is about the cutest dancer I've ever seen. His Dad might take the trophy. So, life is moving fast and funny once again. We shake off the dirt, kick up our heels and keep on keepin on. I don't think we have much fall left but I will try to get some shots of the kiddos so you can see how much they have grown. Hopefully I can post a video so that you can hear Dominic count to 12 and Autumn telling him not to mix the lemons with the oranges:)
Cheers! (Dom just walked down the hall from his new bed, what a big boy! "Morning Mom, where's Papa Bruce?" Night one a success...for the most part) :)

How honest do you want it?

How could this cute face make anyone nuts?
 

such a handsome devil!
 

a glimpse of his attitude
 

this girl loves to make mud pies and mud milk!
 

this was not a "planned"mud day

hence the light clothing that is now "yard clothes".

Autumn plays hard in her shoes. Can you tell which ones she doesn't wear much?:)

People in general are always ready to talk about how incredible their children are. How early they started to walk, the first time they did number two in the potty, when they started to communicate without grunts and groans, how well they sleep at night, these are all like fantasy football stats. Parents compare, maybe not knowing that they are comparing but really, aren't we? I know that when I hear of one of Autumns friends beginning or succeeding in potting training I second guess our decisions to let her go at her own speed. I always mention that before her brother came along she loved using the "big girl potty". I say that for my benefit I think. Just so they know that she isn't slow and she isn't behind, she was ahead of the curve and then was slammed with a sibling. What do they call it? Regression? We don't push anything. We don't say no when Autumn comes climbing into our bed and we don't hesitate to bring brother in when he wakes up. We rarely say no to them. Autumn still uses a bink and we are not consistent with telling her she can only have it at night time. So, we blame ourselves for that. No biggy. I doubt she will end up with a shrink because she had a bink too long and we know a great dentist. I compare myself to other Mothers all the time. If you are a mother and I am looking at you I am without even thinking about it comparing myself to you. I don't think in the terms of "better" or "worse". I think in the terms of "how" and "why". I borrow a lot of my "skill" from other Mothers. Nothing I do is original. The only original thing about me is my DNA. Everything I do has been done before and most of my theories are already books. I just haven't read them yet. I want my kids to have everything. To be the greatest. To leave a room and people say "Wow! That is an amazing couple of kiddos." I want people to love them like we do, to get emotional when they think of them and care for their every second like I do. I'm obsessed with our children. Dana and I don't do normal. This is not to say we are different from many, see above. We are not original. We do stay clear from the doctors unless it is a well baby check or there is blood involved. I'm not good at sewing and I am sure the kids will have plenty of scars maybe even tattoos that I don't want to contribute to. Although they may be emotional scarred
 after a lifetime with me. We take our babes to a chiropractor for adjustments (all kids should go it's good for their soul) and we put essential oils on them for emotional stability, we pray over them, we cut up onions when Lewistown is sick and we grind up flax seed to make tea if an ailment calls for it. I smudge our home, I have a "witch ball" (at least that is what I think it is called) from a dear friend, it is meant to keep evil and bad spirits out of the house,we try to stick to a sugar free (TRY) diet for the kids and lots of fruits and veggies. I turn the car around if I see a black cat in the road, I talk to trees, and I use pressure points of the body to try to stop a tantrum or induce sleep. I am very close to calling a witch doctor or killing a lamb to calm our son.

I feel like just writing this I am cursing him to be a little shit. I try to never say out loud that he is making me crazy. I try to only keep those thoughts to myself or I share them with my mother. I sometimes whisper them to Dana. We NEVER say them where the babies can hear. We don't say "you are a brat" or even "you are acting like a brat". We don't tell them to be quiet and we don't push them away, EVER.
Today, we went to a local football game. Autumn had a fever last night but after putting peppermint oil on her and filling her with fluids it broke she came back around and slept a peaceful night, with us. She woke up happy and energetic, as did Brother. The day was gorgeous. We knew we were pushing the limits with nap times but we headed out and all was good. Dana took Dom on a walk to the other side of the field so I could have a chance to sit with my friends and our God Daughter. I feel like we never see her and she is Autumns age and her mother is a good friend of mine. Autumn started to complain that she wanted to go home. I said to please drink some water and let me take your coat off because it is hot in the sun. She wanted on my lap so of course I held her and told her we would leave when Daddy and Dom came back. I called him to let him know it was getting to be that time and to make his way over to us. Autumn grabbed her tummy and said it hurt, farted in my lap and threw up in my hands. I thought I had it under control. A handful of puke no biggie. She had more. A whole jacket full and then some. With the help of my friends I kept her calm and sat with warm puke in my lap and all over the two of us. I bagged the dirty napkins and wipes that people handed us along with her cherished red puppy and clothes and we left. I even left behind a perfectly good ol Fergus High school cup of coffee now that I think about it. I carried her home and Dana, after running with 30pound Dom around the track to get to us, pushed Brother in the stroller. The stroller wheel fell off and Dana let go to grab the wheel as I'm hissing at him "Don't let go of the stroller on a hill Dana! Jesus!" I try not to bring "Jesus" into an order often but I was sweating and trying to carry 32lb Autumn and a diaper bag that really has almost everything but the kitchen sink in it. We walked home calming down on the way letting  Autumn know that puking is perfectly okay and it isn't a big deal and we will clean her clothes and her puppy. She looked down and saw puke on my shirt and touched the back of my neck (she still had the soft stuff in her fingers) and said "Oh Mom, I threw up on your shirt, I'm sorry". "Autumn don't you worry about that! It will wash just like you and me! We will take a nice hot bath and get all cleaned up". "Okay Mom. Mom! Baby Puppy is back there, oh no I left him!" "No, baby, We have him, he needs a bath too." We make it home, take a bath, hose down our clothes and shoes and sit on the couch looking like we had gone through a wind tunnel. We loaded up on water and some easy tummy food and popped on abcmouse.com. All was right again and she was feeling great.

We did are norm. Nothing extraordinary and nothing new. Dom wanted to color and what Dom wants has to be taken care of quick. I grabbed the closest piece of paper and crayons. Sister came out and wanted to join in so I cut wax paper to cover the table and let them go at it. Dom had a fit. Threw crayons, ripped paper and started screaming and crying and threw in a couple kicks for good measure. I unhooked him from his seat, spanked his butt and threw away the torn up paper. My heart was racing. I hate spankings. I don't believe in them. I have spanked Autumn MAYBE four times in three years. Dominic. I lost count. It isn't working. I felt like an ass. I went to the bedroom and put on my yard clothes. I needed to go to the store anyway so why not get out of my "just took a bath since I had puke on me" clothes. I checked myself in the mirror. Train wreck. Who cares. Everyone will know I have a sick kid by the time I make it to the store. Screw the store I'm going to the bar. I wonder if they have music tonight, maybe I should change and put something cute on. These were my thoughts. Lightning fast. I don't drink. I haven't had a drink in 4 years 6 months and 29 days. But whose counting. I grabbed my headphones, changed my shoes to yard shoes and went out and mowed the lawn. I kept thinking "who can I call and go have a drink with", I was deep in this thought when I hit my head on a freaking tree. We have birch trees in the front yard. Big beautiful birch that shed enough leaves to fill a stadium. I hit this branch so hard my hat slid back, my teeth chattered and my eyes and nose started running. I didn't check for blood because I was in the front yard and if any one saw me run into this big ass low branch I didn't want them to know how much it hurt. I figured even if it was bleeding my hat and hair would catch it while I finished the front and I could cry in the back. I wasn't bleeding but I also wasn't thinking about drinking anymore, nice humor God. It wasn't that bad and I kept on to the back. I ran over a bag and had to stop the mower to untangle the mess. Now I was crying. Is it because I only breastfed him for two weeks? Am I too short with him? Don't I hug him enough? Can he hear my thoughts when he screams? What the hell am I doing wrong? I can't even mow the freaking lawn without knocking myself stupid (yes Autumn I said the "s" word) and now I ran over this bag and that rock that hit my leg really hurt and I'm probably crippled. Oh my God HELP ME! I'm not a mom, I'm a scared shitless chick that can't see straight and oh shit the gas is spilling, better wash my hands before I smoke or I will blow up my damn face that is breaking out like a 14 year old starting puberty. 

Then I stopped.

I took a deep breath. I said "Help me. Please just help me."

I finished mowing. I took a shower after walking in without talking to anyone. Which was no big deal they were both mesmerized by Meet the Robinsons. I came out and Dana said "Are you okay? Is there something I can do?" Sweet Dana. Fixer Dana. We had the most honest talk we have had in 4 years 6 months and 29 days. We could both admit that we are clueless. That we have exhausted everything we know with Dominic. We could both look at each other with deer in the headlights faces and say "I have no idea". We didn't come up with a solution. But, we didn't come up with a solution together. We agreed to do what we do. Learn more about the oils, pray more, be consistent with him. Silently my best friend and my best advocate looked at me and let me know, I've got your back. We stood in the back yard and got a little stronger just because we were on the same page of absolute confusion.

"Daddy! I come out!"
Dominic found us. We smiled at his face, his gorgeous sweet face pressed to the door to see us. "I want out!" His sister opened the door and in her precious little arms she clutched Baby Puppy and two pairs of shoes, hers and her brothers. She is a great sister. Dominic yelled "HI MOM!" "Hi Dominic". Dana said "can Mommy have a hug Dommie?" "YEP!" he came at me arms as wide as he can get them and his head down and to the side. I bent down and squeezed him and said in his ear " I love you Dominic". He gave me another hug and was off to explore. Autumn came in for a hug and our evening went on. They played and ran and I cheered them on and told them they were so fast and so awesome and please share.

These babies are my life.I know they are Dana's life too. They take us to the very edge of insanity then reel us back with their smiles and their hugs. They keep me real. The keep me humble. They also scare the shit out of me.